What encouraged you to become foster carers/why did you think it was important?

“We don’t have children of our own and it appealed to us as we are both very caring and we feel we would like to give something back. A colleague at work who became a foster carer shared her experience with me and it just struck a chord with me that this is something I can do. We watched Beyond Paradise on TV and the story about the couple becoming foster parents showed their journey and experience and it made us interested and curious. We also heard adverts on the radio for Peterborough City Council fostering team asking for candidates for foster carers to come forward. And as we both come from a loving family environment, when we think there are children out there who have not had that experience of a safe loving home, it makes us want to try and provide that positive experience to them.”

What have your experiences been? What are the positives/what have you loved the most? What are the most challenging parts?

“Right from the beginning we felt we were becoming part of a very special service – this was probably the first rewarding moment on our journey – fostering is such a wide ranging complex experience, you become aware there is a different world out there, you become someone who can literally change another person’s life, just by offering your time and space in your home. As a foster carer you come across situations which require resourcefulness and creativity, you learn so much about yourself, and how good you are, even if before you thought of yourself as someone quite average. Situations you come across build you up very quickly, and equip you with practical knowledge and skills.

The most challenging part is probably the aspect of fostering which is counterintuitive to what we would call ‘normal parenting’. In foster care it becomes ‘therapeutic parenting’. It means that the regular parenting techniques don’t work, or they do not bring the expected results. For example, promising a reward for a completed homework, it does not work on the children we have had in our care, because of the background they come from, they have not learned that connection between action and consequences. Or if you withdraw your permission for going out or for an activity, it will not result in compliance, but create an atmosphere of lack of trust. Therapeutic parenting allows you to join the child on their journey, so that you can support them and be there for them when they need you and help them in the way that works for them.

In our case, it actually was helpful as we are not parents ourselves, we did not need to re-learn or unlearn any previous habits with raising our own children. We could just start from scratch and apply the therapeutic parenting methods straight from our training sessions.”

Tell us more about the training you received – what can people who want to become foster carers expect in terms of training and support?

“The training is very extensive, it is both online and face-to-face. It covers a wide range of topics, from fire safety, to equality and diversity, data protection regulations, online safety, as well as training in skills that are typically  required of foster carers such as record keeping – which is notes you provide to the fostering team to highlight any important events in the child’s life or aspects of the care that the social worker or the team as a whole might need to be informed.

The Journey to Foster training is a face to face training, where you can meet other foster carers who are at the same stage of application as you are – so you can get to know your network. The training is delivered by very experienced social workers and other experiences foster carers are in attendance to help answer questions – some of them have been fostering for 20-30 years, so they know all the ups and downs and what to expect.

Once you become a foster carer, there is 24/7 support for you. You have an allocated social worker who helps you with any questions or concerns. There is emergency duty team if you need to contact someone outside office hours. New foster carers are given a mentor – a very experience foster carer who can help with any day-to-day aspects of fostering. There are also regular meetings and social events for foster carers, so you feel very much part of a vibrant and diverse community, you never need to worry about facing any difficulties by yourself.”